bboyblue32 (bboyblue32) wrote,

Drama in Miami

So Raviv and I had a big fight last night after his friend Lior was less then discreet.

After the visit of the "trick" or "date", which I didn't know which he was things were very awkward. I had left the house that morning for a very long bike ride. I didn't arrive back until 5:30pm and then only things I knew was that Raviv was horny, I was assuming he would take care of whatever needs while I was away or find some way to signal me that he was still on the prowl.

So I came in gritty, dirty and tired from biking for nearly six miles and several hours. And the first thing I see when I put my camera down is Raviv walking naked from the bathroom to his bedroom to be followed a couple seconds later by this buff bald guy wearing a towel. Now should I have gotten the message that he was still occupied? Maybe. But coming from the shower usually means the deed is finished, there may be some post-coital antics but that is usually the aftermath, but it wasn't, they went into the bedroom and I settled down, waiting for a good time to take a shower since I was filthy after riding on the highway.

The night wore on I took a shower and it didn't seem like Ron who I later learned was this guy Raviv went out on a date with New Year's Eve. As opposed to taking me aside which he had many opportunities to do and tell me he wanted some time alone with this guy, which I wasn't sure until like after the 2nd shower they took together, he actively invited me to eat with them, and join them for a movie, can we say holy mixed messages Batman. (I was later called a bitch for staying)

After these shenanigans I decided to give Raviv more space, the next day I only saw him once in the morning and didn't get in until 12:30am that morning, the next day I stayed out until 9pm only seeing him briefly in the morning. So yesterday evening I came in around 9:00pm again, he wasn't home and the apartment was stuff so I switched out of my clothes, put some shorts on and sat shirtless on the couch. Watching the new season of 24.

Raviv comes in about 40-45 min later, and the next to first thing out of his mouth is "Why are you sitting naked on my new couch", to which I responded "I am not naked, I am wearing shorts" to which he responded "put a shirt on", to which I said "fine", slightly annoyed with his every changing and appearing house rules. So then he proceeds to ask me about my day and I tell him I went to the movies and saw The Day the Earth Stood Still and Gran Camino, he asked me if I wanted to eat something the first of like four times and I told him that I am adult and I had fed myself and was fine.

This is the thing that drives me crazy about Raviv, his social graces are lacking around host etiquette, esp when the host is not setting clear rules and boundaries. So after my telling him for the fiftieth time that I have completed my commitment and suitable paid for my room and board with the designing of a web page for him ( But typical Raviv behavior he is not happy with just this but wants even more. Even though I got his web page designed and up and live within less then 4 hour, he wanted me to do a business card and a flier also now. I had told him repeatedly that he has a guy doing his business card why doesn't he just contact him. And I said his flier is fine all he really needed to do was get it copied and add the new URL to it.

Then he did something very typically Raviv, he tried to go on about everything he had done for me during my trip to Miami (Jewish guilt), to which I countered everything I did for him including photographing, posting and vetting the emails for the removal of his couch. I reminded him that not only did I bring him a gift (albeit my book of photos), but I had taken him out to lunch (to the tune of $65 dollars), lent him $40 bucks to tip his new couch movers, and generally been a meticulous house guest, keeping the living room tidy. I paid for one of his sandwiches, bought 9 rolls of toilet paper for the house (after his other guest used it all), and I bought my own food to nosh on during my visit.

He reminded me he had to clean up the bathroom after me (I realize why its good for people to have separate bathroom, my environmentally conscious attitude is some discarded paper in the toilet is not a reason to waste water for a flush and I had once mistakenly left a turd behind and after getting up to early I had forgotten to do the courtesy flush), he then complained about the sound of my bracelets jingling, yelled at me for blowing up the air mattress I was sleeping on (that was extremely loud no fault of mine), and complained about his curtains smelling like the hair oil that I sprayed on my hair.

After that I didn't miss a courtesy flush, I took my bracelets off when I entered the house, I sprayed my hair outside on the balcony, and one night I took my air mattress all the way down to the laundry room to blow it up, as not to disturb his majesty.

What Raviv doesn't get but I think he understands on some level is that he was nit picking, and I was left to navigate a virtual invisible mine field of triggers that may go off at any instant. I let him know it is very ungracious to attempt to guilt someone into doing something for you, regardless of if its something they can easily do or not. He then told me that his mother thought I was an ungrateful house-guest for not doing the thing he asked if I could do him. I told him his mother could go fuck her self. Who the fuck is she to tell me what I should or shouldn't be doing.

This is a pet-peeve of mine with Raviv he is always looking for other people's approval for what to do or not do. It annoyed him that I would never give him an opinion but ask him how he felt about something. Letting him know what I felt about his new couch was irrelevant, it was after all he who had to live with it not me.

So then it got really nasty when he told me that he had spoken to Lior and he knew I was deliberately being mean to Ron, and that Lior told me I should have went to a cafe. Now this pissed me off because typical Raviv he got the details wrong. I was emailing back and forth with Lior talking about who the hell was this guy that Raviv had over, and how awkward the situation was. I did admit to not being overly friendly, but that is my typical SOP when a relationship with someone is unclear, I am not going to welcome them with open arms.

Lior suggested I go to a hotel, and I said why should do that, besides I am a cheap bitch, and my reason for taking this trip was to do it as inexpensively as possible. Raviv then did something that really pissed me off, he told me what was was said in a conversation I had with Lior, he said that Lior told me to go to a cafe, and I can't deny it because he read it. I was furious because anyone who knows Raviv knows his spoken English is passable but his written English is horrible. I bought up Lior comment and showed him that Lior suggested a "HOTEL", not a "CAFE".

At this point I was fuming at the betrayal from Lior who I was politely venting with, so I sent Lior an email telling him he had stabbed me in the back, he said Raviv was his friend, to which I said was true, (not that I had expected discretion), but I was not expecting a confrontation over an email dialog I had with Lior, I let him know I would make my own way to the airport and that I didn't need a ride from him.

I was particularly peeved with Lior who I had at first gotten off to rockily after he "sniffed" me, I bopped him with a pillow letting him know it was inappropriate to be sniffing people. But over the next few days after taking his Art Deco tour and purchasing one of his scarves which I insisted on paying the full retail price for ($85, instead of the $25 wholesale value - I will be calling AMEX to get that money back), I had also gave him some legal notes on his sales representative contact and retyped the entire thing making it more legally sound. I was even considering passing some contacts at some high end boutiques in New York to him because I thought his product was strong enough to retail well there, but after all of this business that was all off.

So of course after Raviv and my "fight" died down Raviv went and took a shower, and Lior called Raviv on his cell phone. When Raviv got out of the shower he had asked me if the stove had chimed I said no but that his phone did ring (not telling him that I checked the caller ID knowing Lior would call after getting my emails). He then got Lior on the phone and proceeded to tell him we didn't have a fight, and said a fight was what Israel was currently engaged in but not what we just had, even though voices were raised and there was general nastiness all around. Then he did something that I had found rude during my entire trip (but didn't say anything about it, even though Rotem his other houseguest had noted it was rude) he spoke to Lior in Hebrew.

After his conversation with Lior I didn't even pretend I didn't have an attitude. And Raviv got the non-verbal message that I was not pleased and took the movie he had invited me to watch with him in his room, said good evening and closed the door.

Now Tony had commented this is a good reason to get a hotel when you are traveling which I still have to disagree with, I spent a month with Dave and Jenny (Dave was basically a co-worker), mind you we had separate bathrooms. And I told Tom who agreed with Tony that even this drama has been fun. I was going brain dead in Brooklyn. I needed a change of environment and with the fact that I haven't worked since April 2008 I can't be P Diddy traveling all over and pretending I have limitless monies. So I accept the drama of staying with others because in my life there is such little drama, in the future esp for my upcoming Dirty South tour I will confirm with people that I have my own bedroom and bathroom, and make sure if there are any house rules I am clear about all of them up front.

All in all it has still been a very good trip. I got some really great photos, which I was in-fact surprised by, I had some adventures positive and negative, I learned that my carbon friendly approach to the world isn't shared by everybody, and that regardless of what Raviv says, I am still a albeit eccentric but good house guest.
Tags: angry, arguement, betrayal, cheap, disagreement, drama, eccentric, fight, friend, gay, miami, traveling
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