bboyblue32 (bboyblue32) wrote,
bboyblue32
bboyblue32

Would you consider me rude or direct?

Trevor
3:24 PM Would you consider me rude or direct?

tymbaone
3:24 PM i'm gonna go cut my hair...be back in a few minutes

Trevor
3:25 PM you can contemplate your answer

tymbaone
3:25 PM you are direct for sure
3:26 PM you have little patience for "nicety" which is not to be confused with courtesy or decency

Trevor
3:27 PM but which can be misinterpreted as rudeness

tymbaone
3:27 PM some people mistake that for being crass or harsh... but they are not usually used to people who have an opinion about anything.

Trevor
3:28 PM exactly. Have an enjoyable hair cut

tymbaone
3:29 PM rude is when you shoulder people out of your way...or say nasty things to people when your opinion is not required...but in your case i think you are ASKED for your opinion and you give it evenhandedly and without nicety

Trevor
3:30 PM you understand me perfectly. Someone was calling me rude, and I thought I was nearly even diplomatic in the way I responded to them.

tymbaone
3:31 PM hmm diplomatic is a sticky word. diplomacy requires us to NOT express our opinion if it might offend someone.

Trevor
3:31 PM as i said "nearly"

tymbaone
3:31 PM yes

Trevor
3:31 PM I made a general statement as opposed to a directed one

tymbaone
3:31 PM well...too hot, kitchen...blah blah blah

Trevor
3:32 PM Like "I really don't care for cold weather,but I know some people find it quite enjoyable"

tymbaone
3:32 PM and you're sweating the details about this fragile person's perception of you why?

Trevor
3:33 PM for me a response like that is nearly diplomatic. I could've said, "You are out of your mind for loving this cold ass weather"
3:33 PM I think this person had some mis-perceptions of me, and I let them know that first they didn't really know me, because if they did they would know that I am direct.

tymbaone
3:34 PM rude was when this person called me a racist, when she did not know me, simply because "all white people are somewhat racist"

Trevor
3:34 PM And I won't generally comment on something I don't like but if I am directly questioned I will give, a honest answer with out care of if they will like it or not.
3:34 PM I think she would need more context.
3:35 PM Not making a general assessment based on her past experience
3:35 PM That is rude.

tymbaone
3:35 PM she got upset when i said generalizing about race IS racism...which she exemplified very well...this really pissed her off...because of course black people could not be racist could they???

Trevor
3:35 PM I will at least give the white person a little bit of rope before I hang them with it.

tymbaone
3:36 PM yes..

Trevor
3:36 PM Well it also depends on the definition of "racist" that you are working with.

tymbaone
3:36 PMi think her definition of racism is "white"

Trevor
3:37 PM With a black president in the office of the most powerful places in the world. I think the old heads haven't had time to shift their paradigm. Its not an "us" vs "them" conversation anymore, there is no more glass ceiling. If we do not do well we have no one else but ourselves to blame for not trying hard enough

tymbaone
3:38 PM its like what's been said about Muslim people lately..."Not all muslims are terrorists, but almost all terrorists are muslim"

Trevor
3:38 PM Well a political definition of racism is "prejudice & power = racism", It falls into the older paradigm, but it is still embraced by a lot of black people.
3:39 PM With Obama being the most powerful man on the planet, it flips that definition of racism on its side.
3:39 PM We have the power now, now all we need is persistence.

tymbaone
3:41 PM i think that people are so rubbed raw about racism that most times one can not even have a conversation about it
3:42 PM they'd just rather be angry and blame their issues on someone else
Trevor
3:42 PM Black people need to realize there has been a paradigm shift and the conversations of our past black leaders are nearly irrelevant, we are in new territory when it comes to discussions about race.

tymbaone
3:42 PM very well said

Trevor
3:43 PM We have place blame other places for a long time, even though the black upper classes realized. That it wasn't other people at fault, we just needed to work twice as hard.
3:44 PM I challenge myself to use Obama in my conversations and say as I try to educate my brother, "What do you think Obama teaches his children?" to get him away from this comparison to white people but to someone who looks just like him who has made it

tymbaone
3:44 PM I don't even deny that it does not still exist..in fact i still see it too often myself. i just don't think the solution comes from separate conversations..it is something we all need access to to find both our own ignorance and perhaps an unheard of unthought of solution

Trevor
3:46 PM I agree I think there is a lot of ignorance on all sides of the conversation, and the funny thing is if people got past all the bullshit they would really see we are more alike then different. Its something I realize as I travel more.

tymbaone
3:46 PM people are pretty much identical...

Trevor
3:48 PM And its very natural for us to gravitate to other people who look like us, share our religious beliefs, or live in the same geographic location as we do. But when we get down to the core emotions, we are all the same, even the differences have a sameness to them when you look at wider groups of people.

tymbaone
3:51 PM yeah...i agree. though i stopped gravitating to people who look like me a long time ago...there are still value judgments i make
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